Memoirs and Me

I've been away for a while. Then I went to the SCBWI Summer Conference, all resulting in the neglect of this blog. There is no excuse except that preparing for retirement and then attending the conference distracted me. At the conference I was getting so much information and attending so many breakout sessions that I am exhausted. I've been home for two days and I'm still exhausted. I experienced something very interesting; at least to me.

I had the pleasure of having an editor of a large and growing house critique my work. During that conversation we talked about my experiences as a teen growing up in a world where my dark skin brought varying responses from those around me. She suggested that this would be great written as a memoir. I've been thinking about what she said and trying to determine if I have anything of interest to say.

While this could be an interesting endeavor, I have concerns about what might get tapped into. There are feelings that lie unresolved because there is no resolution. And how do I express these without awakening the rage that sleeps within? How do I create a work of this nature without overwhelming the reader with that rage?

Maybe that would be the thing she's looking for, an emotional piece that a teen could identify with and be absorbed by. As a psychologist I am aware that for the reader walking though a piece like this would beneficial. I am also aware that writing a piece like this might dispell some of my own demons, or maybe not. Unfortunately it is very possible that the rage awakened, without the possiblity of resolution, could remain awake and become destructive, not just to me, but to those around me.

I have worked so hard to understand what the world has and doesn't have for me without uselessly pointing fingers or placing blame. I have worked to maintain as much balance in my life a possible. I fear this balance could be destroyed. Even writing this much saddens me.

My desire is that my writing would leave the world a little better for my grandchildren, giving them a positive place to see themselves in literature. Will writing this piece aid in this? I don't know. And before I attempt something like this I really need some answers.

I am open to suggestions.